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Put-downs and comebacks for larger people to use.

Have you ever been insulted because of your size, and felt as if you had nothing to say in reply?

Below is a collection of comebacks to use against ignorant thinner people and children/teens. Knowing a quick reply that you can use to instantly put these people in their place will improve your self-confidence, and will make you feel better. ( and them feel foolish and stupid )

If you have a favourite comeback that's really effective, even if vulgar or crude, send it to contact[at]plussize[dot]co[dot]uk. = replace [at] with @ and dot with a full stop. Put "Plussize Comeback" as the subject

Comment: My goodness you're big (said by attractive guy)
Comeback: And it sure is worth the climbing over.

Comment: Why do you eat chocolates, you don't need them? ( said by any thin person)
Comeback: No, I don't really need them, you could use them though!

Comment: What's the weather like up there? (said to a tall girl)
Comeback: Too hot for you! or When you grow up you'll find out!

Comment: Wow, you're big
Comeback: I know. Aren't I lucky!

Comment: You're big (said by any shorter person)
Comeback: And you've got dandruff!

Comment: God, you're big
Comeback: Compared to what?

Comment: Man, you're fat
Comeback: Man you're ugly!

Comment: Do you find it hard to have male friends?
Comeback: Do you find it hard to have any friends at all?

Comment: What's the air like up there? ( said by shorter person)
Comeback: Cleaner than it is down there.

If someone asks how big you are, just put your hand on top of your head and say "this big".

Comment: Gosh you're so big and fat!
Comeback: Gosh you're small and thin! (and then pat him/her on the head)

Comment: (from one of a group of teenage boys) Aren't you fat
Comeback: What a pity your brain hasn't developed to be as big as your mouth

Comment: You're so fat
Comeback: No, you're just thin. Or: Well done for stating the obvious.

Comment: You're big.
Comeback: Wow, you have been taking your smart pills today?

Comebacks for rude people who nudge their friend and stage whisper: -

Comment: Ohh, She's heavy
Comeback 1: I might be heavy but I'm not deaf.
Comeback 2: What makes you think I'm a 'she'. - followed by a cheeky wink to get them thinking!

If anyone asks if your size intimidated men, draw yourself up to your full height, look down and say, "I don't know, does it?”

Comment: Do you suffer from ill-health being so fat?
Comeback: Nope - but the sight of you is making me feel as if I'm going to puke!

Comment: I bet you find it hard getting boyfriends being so fat?
Comeback: The only thing I find hard is making sure all my boyfriends don't find out about each other!

Comment: Do you find it hard to buy clothes?
Comeback: No, I use my credit card. - possibly followed by - Does your mummy and daddy not let you have one ?

Comment: Aren't you big
Comeback: Who said that …? (looking over their heads)

Comment: How heavy are you?
Comeback: How weedy are you?

Comment: You should be a sumo wrestler.
Comeback: Why? my modelling career is going perfectly well

Comment: God, I have to strain my neck to look round you!
Comeback: Yeh, and I have to look down my nose at you.

Comment: Do you have trouble getting menfriends?
Comeback: Yes, most of them don't come up to my standard.

Comebacks for annoying little people: -
Do they let you ride the roller coaster at your height?
or :- Do you get mugged by children?
or :- Were you an extra in The Lord of the Rings?
or :- Does Snow White let you out this late?

Comment: The bigger they are the harder they fall.
Comeback: The smaller they are the further they go.

Comment: You're a big girl
Comeback: And you're probably a short bloke! (At this point you look at his crotch!)

Comment: You look like a giant!
Comeback: You look like an ompa loopa.

Comment: My, your feet are big
Comeback: All the better to kick you with.

Comment: Do you ever date a short man?
Comeback: Only if he can stand on his wallet!

Comment: Cor, you're a big girl.
Comeback: Really? I didn't realise!

Comment: How did you get so fat?
Comeback: How did you get so ugly!

Comment: Do you have trouble finding clothes? (if patronising)
Comeback: Did you have trouble finding a brain?

Comment: Oh my gosh you're big !
Comeback: Good observation skills, sad that's all you've got going for you though!

Comment: Blimey, you're a big girl!
Comeback: And which dwarf are you?

Comment: How'd you get so fat?
Comeback: My parents raised me in a grow bag!

Comment: Oooooh, haven't you grown?
Comeback: Oooooh, haven't you shrunk?

Comment: You're big
Comeback: My oh my, nobody noticed before!

Comment: You're really fat
Comeback: And you're really weedy, so watch I don't squash you!

Comment: You're a big girl aren't you?
Comeback: Well it's a shame you aren't a big boy isn't it?

Comment: Why are you so fat?
Comeback: Same reason you're so ugly - it runs in the family!

Comment: Aren't you big?
Comeback: Pity that isn't what your wife said last time she saw you naked?

Comment: Your're a jolly green giant
Comeback: You're a little green sprout

Comment: Are your parents fat?
Comeback: No, I was adopted

Comment: Are you a sumo wrestler?
Comeback: No, are you a jockey?

Comment: You are so big
Comeback: We don't grow runts in our family!
or: and so good looking!

Comment: Lady, you are bigger than my daddy! (A little kid)
Comeback: Kid, if you think your daddy is big, you should see my daddy.

Comment: Wow, what size shoe do you wear?
Comeback: Hmm... how big is your mouth?

Comment: ' Aren't you enormous?'
Comeback: 'Well, I suppose everything must look pretty big from down there'

© 2004 -

Comebacks to LARGE related insults

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